Let’s begin this dialogue with an open-to-all-parents question: Do your kids share a “healthy” sibling bond? Do your younger kids get along with your older ones? Or maybe the twins or triplets have an argument that seems to be running hot for some time now?
In any case, if the relationships between your kids have become tricky to manage and the incessant bickering has led to forming into a daily routine, then maybe you should be thinking about doing things a bit differently.
And we hope that this blog helps you to understand why such a thing takes place in the first place, what you can do to remedy that situation and help build better sibling bonds, and since prevention has always been better than cure, we’ll also help you avoid getting here in the first place.
Learn this like the Bible
Whatever the cause of the fight, it’s important that parents intervene and do what they can to foster a good relationship through fair comment, they need to understand the distinction between what’s important and what’s worth letting go. They need to respect each other as individuals because after all at the end of the day they are siblings.
Common Reasons for Sibling Conflicts and Rivalry
Siblings can either turn out to be the best of friends for life or nemesis despite sharing the same DNA pool. Though there can be several other reasons for siblings falling out, these are the ones a parent should watch out for.
- Age Difference: One of the most common reasons why siblings end up disliking each other.
- Differences in Personality: Kids no matter how young they are, always have their own personalities that build as they grow up into teens and then adults.
- You’re Always Competing: Some children will try so hard to please their parents at whatever cost, even if it means beating their siblings.
- Favoritism: This is the parent’s area to rectify predominantly. This is what sets off the unhealthy competition in the first place. You can’t compare your kids.
- Superiority Complex: If your kids happen to appreciate only themselves and want to establish their authority over their siblings.
A parent must always take the necessary steps to recover their children’s lost camaraderie.
Tips to Encourage Good and Healthy Bonds between Your Kids
#1 Tip: Teach Kids to Handle Conflict in a Positive Manner
This has been seen that children who are taught to manage disagreements constructively by listening to their sibling’s point of view will be in a much better frame of mind to settle disputes and move past fighting.
#2 Tip: Make Respect a Non-Negotiable Rule
Make a note to always encourage your children to pay attention to the other’s side feelings and show them respect like they would for themselves. That also means no verbal diarrhea, no hitting or other physical aggression.
#3 Tip: Encourage Your Kids to Get Specific and State the Problem
Tell your child to focus on what they are upset about, rather than on their sibling’s misappropriation. Ask them to address their initial seeds of conflicts first and explain how important it is for one to introspect.
#4 Tip: Let Them Team Up for Doing Chores
Pair your children together and assign them chores to do together. This way you’ll be helping them and giving them the time to rebuild their connections with each other. This trick is actually an old one from the books that most traditional parents till date apply whenever the bickering gets out of hand. This exercise also helps instill humility in your teens and children.
#5 Tip: Emphasize Family Bonding
It is necessary to explain to your children and to remind them from time to time that family shares a kind of unshakable love and support that will always be by your side.
Remind your teens especially that while they may now prefer the company of their friends over a brother or sister, they will become more important to each other as they grow up.
#6 Tip: Instill Empathy
This iis a tip for you adults too! That is when people feel empathy towards other people, this will help their older kids from bullying the younger ones into submission. This will teach them the value of being good.
Kids who are respectful to their peers and are empathetic will be able to refrain from hurting other people.
#7 Tip: Engage Them in Games Together
The best way to encourage better sibling bonds is through indulging them in friendly games and activities. If you have a pool or a nice backyard, introduce games that all your kids will be interested in playing. Something that can help incite healthy competition through good intentions.
You’ll find that after a friendly game, they may have come to appreciate each other. An indoor/outdoor bowling set or an inflatable 2-in-1 pool volley and basketball set can easily give them the chance to have great fun together.
#8 Tip: Include in Your Bedtime Routine
Make this a daily practice that all your kids should follow n matter how stupid they deem it. Try to get them to always say “Goodnight” and “I love you” to each other. Some families build in bonding rituals like the older child reading to the younger one before bed. This will bring your younger ones closer to the older ones thus improving their relationships.
But the most important for any parent who wants to make sure that their children don’t fight amongst themselves, they will have to make certain that their kids can stay in the audience with you and your relationships with your close ones and family. Kids always will be the most impressionable of minds so it is a parent’s duty to keep themselves in check also as your kids will always perceive you as a role model for many things.
If they witness you and your peer sharing mutual respect and treating each other with kindness, they will also consider changing the way they treat their siblings in the future.